1. Time. I’ve worked over 35 jobs. I quit counting after that. When I was teaching high school English, I also was a waitress and taught 3 yoga classes a week. That was a ton of hours per week spent working. I used to think. Because being a “Stay at Home Mom” (SAHM) is many more hours. Especially if you are also a breastfeeding mom. Who can’t pump. Who breastfeeds on demand, and whose little one was just shy of doubling his birthweight at 2 months:
(That’s weight, height/length, and head circumference.) I spend most of my day AND night feeding this kid. And changing diapers. When I am not feeding him or changing diapers, I am singing to him; coaxing him to do tummy time; taking him for walks; talking to him; wearing him; and cuddling him when he lets me. Being a SAHM is a completely inaccurate title. It’s a lot of work. It’s the most rewarding work I have ever done, but it is A LOT of work. Without breaks.
2. Sleep. They say, “Sleep When the Baby Sleeps”. But when the baby sleeps I usually am trying to do laundry, dishes, plan & prep meals, clean, and keep up on basic work from home. Sometimes, I can’t help but to nap with him or stare at him while he sleeps sweetly in my arms. There is not much sleep, and I don’t think clearly because of it–so writing is “meh” at best. I’m sorry for my incoherence.
3. Weighty Issues. I have promised to blog about my weight loss journey, and this blog is largely about health & fitness (in body, mind, & spirit). In the name of promises, here was my two month progress:
I’ve lost about 30 pounds–depending on the day (it hovers between 27-30 pounds). I gained 50 during my pregnancy. My weight is still the same at almost 3 months. Until yesterday, I’d been feeling a bit like a failure for not continuing to lose the weight as quick as I’d like. For caving and buying a new pair of larger jeans instead of squeezing into my old fat jeans. I can fit into them, but just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
Here’s the deal. I’m eating very healthy—90% whole, unprocessed organic foods. But I don’t want to limit calories because I’m afraid that it will screw with my milk supply. And that is more important to me than being skinny. I’m sure you can do both–be skinny and breastfeed, but I’m not ready to risk it just yet.
I’m also still battling the mild prolapse feeling when I run. Or not so mild if I push it more than 2 miles at a time, since I pretty much have to do a kegel the entire time I run. I choose not to run every day because of this–I run 1-2 times a week, more for my mind than my body. I can walk without any issues, so we go for walks whenever the weather is nice, and I try to focus on squeezing movement into my day whenever I can. I will post more on increasing movement in daily life for busy moms who DON’T have an hour to spare at the gym later this week.
It’s slow going. I think I get now why they tell you to aim to only gain 25-30 pounds during pregnancy. Hindsight, schmind-sight, right? The thing is, I’m done feeling sorry the weight is coming off slower. My body just birthed a human being. It carried him for almost 10 months. It went through the most traumatic experience it’s ever had. And it deserves love, respect, gentleness and honor as I strengthen it.
My body deserves this, and my son deserves to have a mom who cares more about health than skinny jeans. He learns from me each day. Spending 5-10 minutes in meditation is more important than forcing a workout, and sleep is sacred. Because when I do more of both, I can parent from a more present place. I can prepare healthy, whole food meals that become the fuel for his growing body. I can seek to find balance in being a wife AND a mother. I can just flat out be sane!
I have my reasons for not writing lately. But I’m not embarrassed anymore. So I will write & battle the expectations that society sets for moms. Look for posts most Mondays–random writing, Wednesdays–Wellness geared, and Fridays–baby & mothering. This week we will be traveling, so Friday we’ll be on the road.
For all that I missed in the last month of writing, here are pictures, said to be worth a thousand words:
With Love from Colorado.