Motherhood is a Spiritual Journey, Uncategorized

Dear Someone

 

Image by CY Photography http://cyphotography.net/home.html
Image by CY Photography http://cyphotography.net/home.html

A certain someone recently told me, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but your belly looks bigger now than it did right after you had him.”

It had been a long day. Who am I kidding. It’s been a long 4-almost-5 months. Motherhood is the most beautiful, amazing miracle I have ever experienced, but motherhood is hard! Sleep deprivation is just really freaking crazy difficult.

No one ever tells you when you are pregnant just how difficult it will be. No one prepares you for the amount of time you will spend not sleeping. For nursing your fussy baby during the witching hour for almost an hour, & sleep nursing at 10 when you go to bed in hopes of making it 3 hours, & then waking to feed your baby at 12:40, then 2:18, then 3:35, then 4:23, & then wake up with them at 5:28. Mothers don’t talk about what it feels like to be this exhausted. Dizzy tired. Soup for brains tired. Functioning monkey tired. No one shares anything about Motherhood except glowing pictures on Facebook & Instagram. I’m guilty, so let me be real for a hot, sticky minute.

No one shares just how selfless you will have to be. How things like taking a daily shower are not part of your daily routine. How you will go around for a week with one leg shaved. How you will eat meals cold & shovel-sized bites at a time in between poopy diapers & giggles, cries & nap times. How going to the bathroom with the door shut is a memory. Privacy is pre-baby. Post baby means that your body is no longer yours. Your time isn’t spent crafting perfect meals, redecorating the living room, accessorizing your outfit, blissing out after a 90 minute yoga, working on tightening your buns, guns & abs.

Your day will be spent sharing moments with a little soul learning a big & beautiful world. Time, your body, & your expectations will have to soften a little. At least mine had to for the sake of my sanity.

Before motherhood, I remember watching other women chase after their children in sweatpants & greasy ponytails & thinking, “I won’t be a mother like that.” I remember looking at moms lugging car seats around & love handles leaking out & thought, “I won’t let myself go like that.” I made mental lists & painted images of this fit, fun, perfect mom & wife I’d be. I didn’t paint having a stubborn 14 pounds stick to my post-partum hips 5 months later into my pretty picture. Dark circles, an army of crow’s feet, uneven leaky boobs, unshaven everything–these were not on my list of the kind of mom I was going to be. Not me.

And now I see people looking at me with the same look in their eye. Man, she’s let herself go a little. I won’t be that kind of mother. Or! To the mothers who aren’t this kind of mom–to the fit & fab & fashionable moms-looking at functioning but flabby moms like me, you win.

Motherhood is hard enough without sharp expectations to meet-whether they come from other mothers, your significant other, or your own type A mind.

At the end of the day, when I’m nursing my child & my newly softened body is hanging out over my old jeans, please dear someone–I’m asking you to soften your eyes. We mothers need it.

With Love from Colorado,

Keri

5 thoughts on “Dear Someone”

  1. Such a heartfelt and honest post, and so needed for new moms to hear. I remember moments, especially after my second, when I was so exhausted I would suddenly jump awake on the living room floor, not even realizing I had fallen asleep with the kids playing around me! 🙂 Love your body, it brought a soul into this world, there is nothing more beautiful than that. My youngest is now 15 months and I still end the days in complete exhaustion it seems, but it does get easier–much easier–and so much fun!

    1. Thank you Sasha! Sometimes I wonder if I will be able to handle the sleep deprivation that comes with two–and then I hear him giggle & think of twice the love 🙂

    1. Exactly. Is there any other way I can take that? Screw the extra 12 pounds. They’ll come off or not. A human being came out of me. My body–yours too–is a miracle!

      1. Once I saw an image of a woman with stretch marks and the photo said something about moms being tigers who have earned our stripes. I loved that.

        Bodies aren’t supposed to look like pubescent teens forever. Our center of gravity completely changes. Our hormones shift. Moms are often treated for post-partum depression when the real cause for their stubborn weight and tiredness is hormonal. Post-partum thyroiditis is common but under-diagnosed. If you ever suspect that as a possible cause, be sure to get the full 6 panel thyroid test. Docs kept just giving me the simple thyroid test and it always came back normal. When they did the full, they diagnosed me as having severe thyroiditis.
        Later I figured out that it had gone from moderate thyroiditis to severe when I introduced soy back into my diet. One single serving of soy can reduce thyroid function by 7%. And here I was drinking soy milk.

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